Activated Attachment Systems
One of the first steps we can take towards understanding ourselves, our relationships and gain insight into how we experience the world can be taken by identifying which primary attachment style we may have adopted to survive our childhood. It’s then with support and/or through self exploration that we can open our eyes to the…
Read More…A Closer Look at Secure Attachment
When we are on the journey of self-discovery and we are exploring our attachment styles it is fundamental to be compassionate and non-judgmental with ourselves. We can also hold the knowledge that we can have qualities of all the attachment styles and whatever our primary style is, we can heal our attachment wounds and cultivate…
Read More…A Closer Look at Disorganised Attachment
Attachment styles highlight the emotional and relational environments that we grew up in as infants which then colour the way we perceive and behave in relationships as adults. Attachment doesn’t only influence how we create and experience relationships but also shapes how we experience safety in a world. Given that attachment styles are the ways…
Read More…A Closer Look at Avoidant Attachment
It is important for us to approach the exploration of attachment styles from a self-compassionate & non-judgemental. This creates an environment that fosters healing toward a secure attachment style & more harmonious relationships. We develop an avoidant attachment style when our primary caregivers are emotionally &/or physically distant or unavailable when caring for us when…
Read More…A Closer Look at Anxious Attachment
Attachment styles have been described as survival styles by a leading expert in attachment, Patricia Crittenden. We are biologically wired to have a fear of abandonment and developing one of the insecure attachment styles depends on the different ways this fear is triggered in the first 3 years of our lives. This highlights the importance…
Read More…Introduction to the Attachment Styles
“Attachment is a unifying principle that reaches from the biological depths of our being to its furthest spiritual reaches.” ― Jeremy Holmes Attachment styles describe characteristics of how we attach to others in our relationships which were scaffolded in our earlier years with our primary caregivers. There were four attachment styles uncovered by John Bowlby in…
Read More…The importance of the company we keep
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.” – Bessel Van Der Kolk The impact that relationships have on our lives cannot be understated. In many ways, we are psychologically programmed during our early childhood and…
Read More…The Person-Centred Approach
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds” – Carl Rogers Carl Rogers is one of…
Read More…Self-Compassion to Address Silent Shame
Have you had the experience where you do something and your friends commend you on it, but your inner voice says ‘They are just being nice/polite, I know I am not actually good at x’ – This is the voice of shame. Initially when I would experience thoughts or feelings of shame I would battle…
Read More…Listen and Find Balance
Time is flying by as fast as these clouds are on the sunset horizon. It’s strange to slow my breathing and be witness to this daily miracle despite the swift finality for the day. There’s something about this one that pains my heart. Immersed in this moment with melancholy melodies, this unfolding event before me…
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Mika Bell Counselling 